What can I say about Saturday night other than EPIC FAIL!!
I guess it should've started with the failure Saturday morning. I should've known then the rest of the day would be suspect.
Can't really say it was all bad. My baby sister and I took a drive looking for that elusive south shore swell (surfers) Walls - flat, Diamond Head - flat, stopped at Diamond Head Health Bar when she introduced me to the best Acai Bowl with natural honey, bananas, strawberries, and granola. Can we say mmmmmmmm. We then headed to Ala Mo's to Bowls.. flat to a foot (too many grommets), and then off to Kewalos. (flat to a foot, occasional 2 footer only if you get gout) lmao Spent some quality time with baby sis before heading to bro's studio to see if we could help prepare for his performance. His dance company's performance was phenomenal. His girls were the strongest group dancers, and his boys solo's shined with talent. Soy muy impresivo! (I was very impressed).
Got to meet Hawaii's Very Own Mother Hag.. Truely inspirational. She's opened the closet door for more teen boys then Ru Paul has wigs.. lol LOVE HER!!
So, I go to homebase and take a leisure bath, make soft with all the cocoa butter lotion, hair locked in a tight bun at the base because I'm rocking a cute little hat cocked to the side matching my outfit which is kinda sassy but not too feminine, completing it with a pair of heels that go well. (Don't ever!!) lol So I get the call from Bro to go ahead everybody just meet there. I'm in Kalihi with one of the homeboys, and baby sis is enroute home and ready to see what all the fuss is about.
That club that plays all that great music in Pearl City? Can we just call it an islander bar already? I have never seen so many animalistic, want to sleep with anybody, no rhythm having, trying to poke on the floor, rude islanders in my life. Same guy I beat up for touching hamo yoyo, tries to talk and touch baby sis. I trade seats with her and put my hand right up against his face telling him UNH UNH, don't even think about it. There we run into some of the girls from my Gospel and Doctrine class celebrating her sisters' birthday. ROFLMAO!!! They were nice and fun, but I was still kinda thinking about baby sis and how she was acclimating to this misadventure until....
The Samoan/Puerto Rican...
Ooooooowheeee was this kid fine. I whispered to baby sis, I am such a cougar right now.. He was absolutely stunning. Pretty in the face and thick in the *()*+&. Poly tatts, with that Hamo swag. (I thought he was just a good looking Latino hangin out trying to be Hamo) Until that boy opened his mouth and the mother tongue came rolling out. Flawless Samoan.. Ohhhhwwwweeee. So we close the club down and we're outside people watching. HamoRican walks by, and I start talking in Samoan to his friends, which of course opens the platform for him to say something. I almost switched to Spanish just to see if he could speak his other tongue. Oy Querico.. Men Aqui!! Puss, Puss, Meooooww! roflmao
Music was really good though, but all in all... Epic Fail!!
Till the next time Kitty Boots readers..
Muuuah,
Miss Kitty Boots
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
On The Banking Path Again
Okay, so today was my first day at work after how long? And wouldn't you know it, it's right next door to the other bank that told me they wanted to cut me 3.00 per hour because they didn't want a specialist, they wanted a file clerk. Can I just say...
I LOVE MY NEW BANK JOB!! Can't say which bank it is due to privacy, liability, and all of that other senseless legalities and crap. But, I'm soo glad, I got in. My desk, pristine.. just like me.. (shaddup you guys), my boss (down with the T.), 2nd floor has a cafeteria with vending machines, free coffee, and water coolers for days, as well as a ping pong table in the adjacent area. In the basement there's a gym with treadmills and stairmaster machines as far as the eyes can see.. Oh yeah 3 weights machines and a rower for those who wanna be more butch. And I received my access badge to all of this.... this morntink!!
So on my lunch break, I'm sitting outside on Fort Street Mall watching the foot traffic.. (Another blog, goodness me the eye cand-eee) And I notice my ex mgr from the bank next door calling me. She asks what I was doing, if the bank called me back, and that kind of thing. I let her know I was actually working for their competitor next door. Her face dropped and wished me well in my new position. Hahaha.. Das what happens you ole, heffalump!! Nah, I should be nice. I should actually call the Federal Auditors and report that department, and see if they don't shut down their floor. lmao (I know, evil little black heart again) Then I ran into 2 of the temps that are still there. They actually caved in and took the 3.00 per hour pay cut. They let me know, they weren't too happy either. (Good thing I didn't tell them I got the original offer with the new bank) And then last but not least, I ran into the little 23 year old miss somebody who loooved to give me shit/grunt work. She's now wondering if she can defect to the new bank as well.
All in all, it was a great first day at work. Was gonna go in dressed to impress with a sassy little black dress, stockings, and heels... but, then, I got into a fight with my girdle and lost. So I ended up in slacks, camisole, and reliable cardigan. I think, I'll do the Short, Sassy Dress next week Friday with the stockings and the heels.. Just means I got to get up a half hour earlier than usual to try and win the fight with my girdle which I think I'm going to name "P-Tight"
Dearest Kitty Boot Blog readers, I hate to do it, but I cannot blog tomorrow or Saturday, as I will be at a relative's funeral. I almost outed myself by naming names.. whew.. So I'll be back Sunday with our latest adventure.. Adult WebSites.. Stay Tuned Kiddies!!
Muah!
Miss Kitty Boots
I LOVE MY NEW BANK JOB!! Can't say which bank it is due to privacy, liability, and all of that other senseless legalities and crap. But, I'm soo glad, I got in. My desk, pristine.. just like me.. (shaddup you guys), my boss (down with the T.), 2nd floor has a cafeteria with vending machines, free coffee, and water coolers for days, as well as a ping pong table in the adjacent area. In the basement there's a gym with treadmills and stairmaster machines as far as the eyes can see.. Oh yeah 3 weights machines and a rower for those who wanna be more butch. And I received my access badge to all of this.... this morntink!!
So on my lunch break, I'm sitting outside on Fort Street Mall watching the foot traffic.. (Another blog, goodness me the eye cand-eee) And I notice my ex mgr from the bank next door calling me. She asks what I was doing, if the bank called me back, and that kind of thing. I let her know I was actually working for their competitor next door. Her face dropped and wished me well in my new position. Hahaha.. Das what happens you ole, heffalump!! Nah, I should be nice. I should actually call the Federal Auditors and report that department, and see if they don't shut down their floor. lmao (I know, evil little black heart again) Then I ran into 2 of the temps that are still there. They actually caved in and took the 3.00 per hour pay cut. They let me know, they weren't too happy either. (Good thing I didn't tell them I got the original offer with the new bank) And then last but not least, I ran into the little 23 year old miss somebody who loooved to give me shit/grunt work. She's now wondering if she can defect to the new bank as well.
All in all, it was a great first day at work. Was gonna go in dressed to impress with a sassy little black dress, stockings, and heels... but, then, I got into a fight with my girdle and lost. So I ended up in slacks, camisole, and reliable cardigan. I think, I'll do the Short, Sassy Dress next week Friday with the stockings and the heels.. Just means I got to get up a half hour earlier than usual to try and win the fight with my girdle which I think I'm going to name "P-Tight"
Dearest Kitty Boot Blog readers, I hate to do it, but I cannot blog tomorrow or Saturday, as I will be at a relative's funeral. I almost outed myself by naming names.. whew.. So I'll be back Sunday with our latest adventure.. Adult WebSites.. Stay Tuned Kiddies!!
Muah!
Miss Kitty Boots
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Back Home With The Parentals...
Okay, so we know that I've moved home to Hawaii back to the parentals. How do I describe Bert and Ernie.. Mom is Tongan, Fijian in ethnicity, Tyson in combo's, a retired construction worker, about 5'0" tall, and a solid 250 lbs. Brown in skin, and brown in demeanor, she's also the Mafia Queen of our family. Dad on the other hand is hapa haole Tongan, English, German of the Blakes/Wolfgramms from Vava'u. He's about 5'9", solid 275, and very German in demeanor. Think Colonel Klink with a tan. My family are hard core Latter Day Saints, and expect me to be the same... Sorry about it, I'm soo not. Although I was born and raised in the church, I've always failed when it came to being a good Mormon girl. I smoke cigarettes, drink beer, chase men (my favorite), and in general have a good time. I do respect their wishes though and never bring any of my heathen ways home. Oh yeah, the two of them speak English like I speak Chinese. (We don't.)
Due to my financial background, I'm able to help my parents understand certain things that are necessary in every day life here in the United States. God bless them, they try to absorb all the information, but sometimes it gets just a little mixed up.
They, like all Polynesian parents tend to spoil their first born, (let's call him Kuluku). He in turn, takes advantage and tries to not let us (the younger siblings) see it.. (Sorry, I'm not called Eagle Eyed Kitty Boots for nothing) Anyway, he stays out of my way unless he needs some computer work done, and I tend to make trouble to him at every opportunity.
Sundays are the days my parents wish I would stay home, go to church, and "pee a koot kirl". Sorry about it, not happening. It goes against every nature in my being. So I like to wake up, and hide moms' glasses. Soon all of the block can hear my mom yelling.. " Eh, wheah ish my shunkrash? (Where are her sunglasses?)" I of course feign ignorance and pretend to be getting ready for church, until I feel a giant hair pull. Thanks mom, I needed my roots to come out. Then I would go and get her "shunkrashesh" and apologize for not responding to her earlier shouts.
At church, it's the same people I see at the FOB bar, and the same people I see trying to perpretrate angelic faces and demeanors. During sacrament, I see them partaking and I just shake my head. Yeah, I've still got the stamps from the 2 clubs I went to the night before on my hand, but I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. All the church knows I'm a heathen. I know half the men are messing around on their wives on the party line.. (Sooo Dumb!!)
Anyways, although I live with mom and dad, the majority of my time is spent with my Hawaiian, Samoan, and Japanese families. I've been lucky enough to be included into these wonderful families where my antics are accepted, and often regaled. Don't get me wrong, nothing will ever replace my biological family who I have the utmost love and respect for. It's just I'm big enough to share the love with these wonderful people who call me their own.
All in all, I'm still one of the 2 black sheeps within my family, but it's okay. I will never claim to be more than I am, and have learned that trying to "keep up with the Jones's" will only end in heartache and failure..
By the way.. Interview yesterday... Bloody Fantastic... I start work tomorrow.. Cheeehoooo!!
Stay tuned my Kitty Boots readers, tomorrow we'll have another adventure in Dating A Big Tita!!
Muah,
Miss Kitty Boots
Due to my financial background, I'm able to help my parents understand certain things that are necessary in every day life here in the United States. God bless them, they try to absorb all the information, but sometimes it gets just a little mixed up.
They, like all Polynesian parents tend to spoil their first born, (let's call him Kuluku). He in turn, takes advantage and tries to not let us (the younger siblings) see it.. (Sorry, I'm not called Eagle Eyed Kitty Boots for nothing) Anyway, he stays out of my way unless he needs some computer work done, and I tend to make trouble to him at every opportunity.
Sundays are the days my parents wish I would stay home, go to church, and "pee a koot kirl". Sorry about it, not happening. It goes against every nature in my being. So I like to wake up, and hide moms' glasses. Soon all of the block can hear my mom yelling.. " Eh, wheah ish my shunkrash? (Where are her sunglasses?)" I of course feign ignorance and pretend to be getting ready for church, until I feel a giant hair pull. Thanks mom, I needed my roots to come out. Then I would go and get her "shunkrashesh" and apologize for not responding to her earlier shouts.
At church, it's the same people I see at the FOB bar, and the same people I see trying to perpretrate angelic faces and demeanors. During sacrament, I see them partaking and I just shake my head. Yeah, I've still got the stamps from the 2 clubs I went to the night before on my hand, but I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. All the church knows I'm a heathen. I know half the men are messing around on their wives on the party line.. (Sooo Dumb!!)
Anyways, although I live with mom and dad, the majority of my time is spent with my Hawaiian, Samoan, and Japanese families. I've been lucky enough to be included into these wonderful families where my antics are accepted, and often regaled. Don't get me wrong, nothing will ever replace my biological family who I have the utmost love and respect for. It's just I'm big enough to share the love with these wonderful people who call me their own.
All in all, I'm still one of the 2 black sheeps within my family, but it's okay. I will never claim to be more than I am, and have learned that trying to "keep up with the Jones's" will only end in heartache and failure..
By the way.. Interview yesterday... Bloody Fantastic... I start work tomorrow.. Cheeehoooo!!
Stay tuned my Kitty Boots readers, tomorrow we'll have another adventure in Dating A Big Tita!!
Muah,
Miss Kitty Boots
Bright Ideas II
Okay, so Tony texts me within the hour talking about what I was doing for the rest of the night. I let him know, I am spending it with my sisters. So he calls the next day asking what I was doing. I know I originally said I would've given him the choni's but by now, I'm thinking... How much did I drink again? Did someone slip a Mickey into my Heineken? He began sounding like a bitch. Ewww. So, I don't actually accept his invite for dinner till 2 weeks later after alot of texting, and talking on the phone. Where does this man take me for dinner?? Kemo'o Pub, right across the highway from Schofield Barracks. What is it? A biker/military bar. Why? Because it's close to his house... Crafty son of a biscuit!!! During dinner, which was, wings, garlic fries, he had a burger, and I forget, conversation was absolute doodoo!! Can we say CRAP!! So I'm texting hamo yoyo, I shouldn't be long, I'm just gonna get rid of this clown. For crying out loud dude, we are not in our early 20's.. Your lines shouldn't come from old Jodeci records, and be tacky at that. So, dinner is done, I'm ready to steal someone's motorcycle and get the hell out of Dodge. While walking to his car, I get a swift.. CRRRRAAACKK!! Did this fool just slap me on the ass? Whips me around, and kisses me, lifting my right leg. That's a strong boy!! lol
Anyway, to make a long story short, he learned the hard way that you do not call out a tita that was raised by mafi's. You end up tapping out, and walking away from bed with the sheets stuck in the crack of your ass..
I've had to let dear old Tony go, as he was becoming a needy kind of person. I don't like ultimatums, and will certainly never ever pick dick over my sisters.. Thus the first date in Hawaii turned out interesting. More so, it became a BRIGHT IDEA!!!
Tune in to our next blog which will cover the cultural aspect of moving home to dear old mom and dad..
Muah,
Miss Kitty Boots
Anyway, to make a long story short, he learned the hard way that you do not call out a tita that was raised by mafi's. You end up tapping out, and walking away from bed with the sheets stuck in the crack of your ass..
I've had to let dear old Tony go, as he was becoming a needy kind of person. I don't like ultimatums, and will certainly never ever pick dick over my sisters.. Thus the first date in Hawaii turned out interesting. More so, it became a BRIGHT IDEA!!!
Tune in to our next blog which will cover the cultural aspect of moving home to dear old mom and dad..
Muah,
Miss Kitty Boots
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Bright Ideas...
Have you ever gone to the mall, park, restaraunt and seen an inordinately rotund, okay fat person and felt sorry for them? Maybe you even felt, put the jelly donut down, and get to the gym MARY! Yes, friends and family it happens. It is never wrong to feel the way you do if it's an honest reaction. How it makes others feel, that's really on them. I mean, if you don't already know, I'm the original heavyweight lover from the Windward side of the island.. But, it's taken years of beating people up, and basically acting out for me to accept my fluffiness, and even revel in it. So Hawaii, whether you're ready for it or not... Here I'm caming to kat you!! (FOB for I'm coming for you)
My 3 Yoyo sisters and I went out to Mad Dogs (I know danger right?) in Waikiki after a nice evening at the Sylistics concert. We're there people watching, and having a few. Now remember my yoyo sisters are beautiful. I mean aesthetics, bodies back, and smart to boot. We get in there and small 5'3 latino is already hazing our smallest sister. He's drunk and trying to talk to her, all the meanwhile spitting.. Ewww.. She turns him down, he turns around and pushes her.. Well like a moth to a flame, hamo yoyo gets in his face, and I'm fearing for his life. So I as the biggest of the bunch, step between hamo yoyo and her intended target. Had he said one thing wrong to my sister, I think I would've shotputted him on to the bar, and made him my bitch. Anyway, they (his friends) escort him out, and I'm noticing how lovely his friends are. So, you guys know me, I start talking to the biggest one, who in turn wants to share his jack and coke with me. Out of attraction, I fear not. I believe it was out of fear of me eyeing him up. I think he was hoping to escape with his pants on... He did. I just wanted to make sure my 3 yoyo's were okay. So the night moves along, and we run into a Pinoy queen. She was interesting to talk to, and she was very surprised when I clocked her. I had to tell her "Bakla, it's okay. I have sisters in the mainland just like you. okay maybe more believable, but yeah." So yoyo #1 is sitting on my right, smallest yoyo is on my left, and hamo yoyo is dancing with bakla's hag. I then get a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and see this big giant chocolate man. 6'2 about 240lbs. clean shaven, pressed slacks and a polo shirt, working kenneth coles on his feet and a master diver watch. (yeah so I'm a hag, so what!) He kindly asks me for a cigarette, which I give him. He then asks my name, which I give him. Had he asked for my panties, I probably would've just given him... roflmao But I needed to act right, my sisters were there. I introduced him (Tony) to the 3, and he started to lay his rap on me. He didn't know, waste time, as I was ripe for the picking.. lmao eh! We exchanged numbers and he kissed my hand goodnight. Good thing he kissed the right one, cause I use the left one in the bathroom....
Will have to continue to saga later, as I'm off to an interview... Next on Miss Kitty Boots adventures.. The First Date in Hawaii... ooohh funny crap...
My 3 Yoyo sisters and I went out to Mad Dogs (I know danger right?) in Waikiki after a nice evening at the Sylistics concert. We're there people watching, and having a few. Now remember my yoyo sisters are beautiful. I mean aesthetics, bodies back, and smart to boot. We get in there and small 5'3 latino is already hazing our smallest sister. He's drunk and trying to talk to her, all the meanwhile spitting.. Ewww.. She turns him down, he turns around and pushes her.. Well like a moth to a flame, hamo yoyo gets in his face, and I'm fearing for his life. So I as the biggest of the bunch, step between hamo yoyo and her intended target. Had he said one thing wrong to my sister, I think I would've shotputted him on to the bar, and made him my bitch. Anyway, they (his friends) escort him out, and I'm noticing how lovely his friends are. So, you guys know me, I start talking to the biggest one, who in turn wants to share his jack and coke with me. Out of attraction, I fear not. I believe it was out of fear of me eyeing him up. I think he was hoping to escape with his pants on... He did. I just wanted to make sure my 3 yoyo's were okay. So the night moves along, and we run into a Pinoy queen. She was interesting to talk to, and she was very surprised when I clocked her. I had to tell her "Bakla, it's okay. I have sisters in the mainland just like you. okay maybe more believable, but yeah." So yoyo #1 is sitting on my right, smallest yoyo is on my left, and hamo yoyo is dancing with bakla's hag. I then get a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and see this big giant chocolate man. 6'2 about 240lbs. clean shaven, pressed slacks and a polo shirt, working kenneth coles on his feet and a master diver watch. (yeah so I'm a hag, so what!) He kindly asks me for a cigarette, which I give him. He then asks my name, which I give him. Had he asked for my panties, I probably would've just given him... roflmao But I needed to act right, my sisters were there. I introduced him (Tony) to the 3, and he started to lay his rap on me. He didn't know, waste time, as I was ripe for the picking.. lmao eh! We exchanged numbers and he kissed my hand goodnight. Good thing he kissed the right one, cause I use the left one in the bathroom....
Will have to continue to saga later, as I'm off to an interview... Next on Miss Kitty Boots adventures.. The First Date in Hawaii... ooohh funny crap...
Introducing Miss Kitty Boots
Okay, so I've never blogged before. I was advised by my younger brother (who actually is quite brilliant) to start blogging on how I'm intergrating back into life here in Hawaii. So naturally, I'll start with an introduction...
My name is irrelevant because you will come to know me as Miss Kitty Boots. I must use the pseudonym as I have very large Polynesian brothers who actually read, and might misconstrue any if all my ramblings. That spells trouble in the countryside.
If you're reading my blog, please do not be disenchanted with island life. I find that I am an eccentric, and just not of the norm around here. Relax, read, and hopefully you enjoy my recordings of mishaps, triumphs, and failures here in Paradise....
So, I'm a 39 year old biological female. (Had to point that out because I am aware that some females were not born female in this day and age) Don't have a problem with that personally. I think they look fantastic. Always wondered if I would've done it had I been born male. I think so. I love being a woman, and can scarcely fathom life as a man. If I were born a man, I think I either would've done the operation in Thailand, or been a gay male. I appreciate men's bodies to a degree, that I think I may need counseling. Anyway, back to the background.. I'm of Tongan, Fijian, English, German, and Tokelau descent. (Now you know why the pseudonym) Tongan girls aren't supposed to talk about anything except getting married, having babies, and going to church.. Sooo not me. Although I was born in Tonga, my family moved here to Hawaii in 1972. I was still a fat bald baby when we came to Hawaii. So naturally I grew up one of the biggest titas around. Yayyy for titas!! I love you guys! You're just known as bull daggers or bull dykes now. But, I still love you guys!! From public school to a private university on the North Shore (think PCC), I was fortunate enough to learn how to spell. Moved to the Bay Area in 1994, and Florida in 1995. Came back to Hawaii in 97-2000. In August 2000 moved back to the Bay Area till December 2011. (We'll get into memory lane some other time.)
Anyway, that's me in a coconut shell. Tomorrow, we'll go on a new adventure... Dating a Big Tita!!
Muah,
Miss Kitty Boots
My name is irrelevant because you will come to know me as Miss Kitty Boots. I must use the pseudonym as I have very large Polynesian brothers who actually read, and might misconstrue any if all my ramblings. That spells trouble in the countryside.
If you're reading my blog, please do not be disenchanted with island life. I find that I am an eccentric, and just not of the norm around here. Relax, read, and hopefully you enjoy my recordings of mishaps, triumphs, and failures here in Paradise....
So, I'm a 39 year old biological female. (Had to point that out because I am aware that some females were not born female in this day and age) Don't have a problem with that personally. I think they look fantastic. Always wondered if I would've done it had I been born male. I think so. I love being a woman, and can scarcely fathom life as a man. If I were born a man, I think I either would've done the operation in Thailand, or been a gay male. I appreciate men's bodies to a degree, that I think I may need counseling. Anyway, back to the background.. I'm of Tongan, Fijian, English, German, and Tokelau descent. (Now you know why the pseudonym) Tongan girls aren't supposed to talk about anything except getting married, having babies, and going to church.. Sooo not me. Although I was born in Tonga, my family moved here to Hawaii in 1972. I was still a fat bald baby when we came to Hawaii. So naturally I grew up one of the biggest titas around. Yayyy for titas!! I love you guys! You're just known as bull daggers or bull dykes now. But, I still love you guys!! From public school to a private university on the North Shore (think PCC), I was fortunate enough to learn how to spell. Moved to the Bay Area in 1994, and Florida in 1995. Came back to Hawaii in 97-2000. In August 2000 moved back to the Bay Area till December 2011. (We'll get into memory lane some other time.)
Anyway, that's me in a coconut shell. Tomorrow, we'll go on a new adventure... Dating a Big Tita!!
Muah,
Miss Kitty Boots
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